Next week, I promise an extended humor piece.  For now, I leave you to
contemplate the mysteries of the MIT admissions office:

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Massachusetts Institute of Technology
                              Admissions Office
			      Room 3-108

					77 Massachusetts Avenue
					Cambridge,
					Massachusetts
					021390-4307

					Phone 617.253.4791
					Fax   617.248.8304
					Email
					admissions@mit.edu
					http://web.mit.edu/admissions/www/

6 April 2000

Dear ,

We're so glad you've made it to Campus Preview Weekend. We've been
looking forward to this for weeks, and though you may never have been
to MIT before, we hope you'll quickly feel at home among us.

This weekend, we've arranged to give you access to some of MIT's best
resources: labs, classes, lectures, and yes, plenty of food. We want
you to consider yourself one of us for the next four days, but because
you aren'tyet a full-fleged MIT student, we ask that you please wear
the wrist band we are distributing at Registration. This will identify
you as a member of the class of 2004. In other words, it'll get you
access to the premiere level of service MIT students enjoy, not to
mention Thursday night's part, Saturday's dinner, weekday classes, CPW
Lectures, etc.

Now since you still formally belong to your parents for the next six
months, we need to ask you to do a few things this weekend so we can
reassure them we intend to get you back to them safe and sound. Before
you leave the Registration area, please call your parents and let them
know you've arrived safely (free phone calls home are provided in
Twenty Chimneys). We'd hate to get a frantic call from them wondering
where you are. More importantly, you'd hate that embarassing moment
wen we'd have to call you out, in front of everyone, to tell you your
mom wants you to phone home.

With the exception of heading out to an FSILG (Fraternity, Sorority,
Independent Living Group), please stay on campus. We will do our best
to make sure you have a safe time on MIT property; we can't quite do
that inside the Tower Records in Boston or at our friendly rival up
the street in Cambridge. Be aware, because you're not quite 21, that
we epxect you'll not be consuming any alcohol during CPW, either. No
alcohol or illegal drugs, or I'll just have to call your
parents. Wouldn't *that* be an ugly scene.

One more thing. Before you run off and have fun this weekend, please
sign you name below my signature letting me know you've read and
understood these rules of the road and return this letter to one of
our Registration tables. So that's it. Try to have some new
experiences and please get at least a little sleep.

Sincerely,

/SIGNATURE/

Marilee Jones
Dean of Admissions and Your Mom away from Mom


/SPACE FOR SIGNATURE/
______________________________
 

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No, I didn't make this up.

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