Last Wednesday, while working hard on my thesis, I heard a commotion outside my office. Every time I try to get some work done, they keep pulling me out. After patting myself on the back for the "Godfather" reference, I ventured outside. Free food, free booze, bleary eyed venture capitalists, slap happy corporate strategists, VPs on the way out, and eggplant carpeting. Have I entered the famous wormhole to Vegas?

I went in search of the roulette tables.

"Gerald Kelly, Payless Shoes", and a hand was thrust in my face.

"Nice shoes?", I shook it while looking down at something that clearly at one time used to cover an Italian cow.

"No, I work for Payless Shoes. Lots of smart folks here, eh?"

"Ain't that the truth", a small man interjected. "Jerry Whidby, Philip Morris." More handshakes.

"Cigarette?", I offered.

"No cancer sticks for me, thanks. Nice shoes, though", he replied.

I stared in disbelief at my scuffed Nikes, but before I could think of anything, a wildly red and polka dotted object distracted me.

"Myles Tanaka, MTV", with a flurry of handshakes.

"I like that RealWorld show".

"Yeah, I'm here to see if we can get robots for next season. I figure that if we're going to go disfunctional, we should go all the way. Imagine by how much we can cut our expenses if those robots could sing. Then, in case we wanted to show some music videos, the robots would stop not talking to each other and form a band: Shakey and the Cogs doing "Proud Mary", Ghengis unPlugged, Pebbles and the Spiders from Mars!"

"I hate to interrupt, but my name is Isabell Wolte, and I'm the scientific and cultural attache from the Austrian embassy. I was wondering if one of you can tell me what the hell I'm doing here?"

"The same thing all of us are doing - looking for how AI technology can help us crush the competition", Jerry replied, with the others shaking their heads in agreement.

"Yeah, I think I'll go put all of my money on red instead. Care to join me?"

Needless to say, the scientific/cultural attache and I cleaned up that night. Drinks are on us at this week's

   G   I   R   L      S   C  O  U   T      B   E   N   E   F   I   T

7th floor playroom October 3, 1997 5:30 pm