* * * CONFIDENTIAL MEMO * * * 

REGARDING: NE43 GRADUATE STUDENT CONTAINMENT
ATTN:      CHARLES M. VEST
AUTHOR:    SPODSA 
           (SECRET POLICE OF THE OFFICE OF THE DEAN OF STUDENT AFFAIRS)

                    * * * CONFIDENTIAL MEMO * * * 

STEALTH:
Targets presently suspect nothing.  

LEISURE: 
Courtyard sealed by construction project of unspecified purpose and
duration.

SUSTENANCE: 
Cafeteria closed by construction project of unspecified purpose and
duration.  Vending machines under-stocked.  Access to food trucks
not yet adequately restricted.

ENVIRONMENT: 
HVAC systems presently shut down at 10pm, 6pm on weekends, insuring
stale, uncomfortably hot or cold offices.  Pilot project underway 
involving shutting down HVAC systems mid-day for several minutes at a time
inconclusive; disorientation due to failing air quality is offset by 
absence of hissing.

TRAVEL: 
Egress west and south limited by construction projects of unspecified
purpose and duration.  Building 20 elimination insures additional
travel outdoors, providing additional deterrent during inclement
weather.

PROGRESS TOWARD GOALS:
Significant progress made toward containing graduate students in
building.  Elimination of pleasant courtyard insures more time spent
indoors working.  Elimination of convenient exits insures more time
spent indoors working.  Junk food, hissing noise, HVAC shutdowns and
stale air insure confusion preventing discovery of SPODSA plans.

Summary: Average graduate student time spent in NE43 up 17% over 1998.

OBSTACLES TO GOALS:
Certain in-building sources of "fun" cause significant drops in
graduate student efficiency in spite of increased hours.  The worst
offender in this matter is the Friday afternoon graduate student 
social gathering known as the...

******************** G I R L  S C O U T  B E N E F I T ********************
********************    5:30pm, 7th floor playroom     ********************