Like me, many of you may be clutching your head and moaning in pain
each time you realize that only 18 days remain until the presidential
election, and yet no candidate worthy of endorsement even by
invertibrates has as yet appeared on the political scene.  Yes, I feel
your pain: faced with choosing from a set composed of clones from the
dominant two parties and lunatics from subordinate parties, the
temptation to stay in bed November 7 with a bottle of Jack Daniels is
overwhelming.

Yes, my friends, I share your agony.  But today, my friends, I bring
you hope: a new candidate!  A candidate for whom you will not be
embarassed to vote!  A candidate you already know and love!  Yes, my
friends, I believe that your vote and mine for the future President of
the United States of America must be cast for our very own Fujitsu
Professor of Computer Science and Engineering, our very own Director
of the Artificial Intelligence Laboratory, yes, indeed, our very own
Rodney A. Brooks!

My friends, our own beloved lab director has, as I see it, all of the
most important qualifications for the job of President of the United
States!

Like Ronald Reagan, Rod Brooks has been in the movies.  Like Al Gore,
Rod Brooks was an early Internet adopter.  Like Bill Clinton, 
Rod Brooks is a fun guy to party with.  Like George Bush... well,
actually, Rod Brooks has absolutely nothing in common with either
Bush, but that's good.  Unlike Bob Dole, Rod Brooks will not appear in
embarassing television commercials if he doesn't win the election.

Rod Brooks has a distinctive accent.  Rod Brooks is not descended from
Puritans.  Rod Brooks is smarter than all the other candidates put
together.  Rod Brooks is better looking, too.

Rod Brooks will not get caught making stuff up.  Rod Brooks will not
get caught inserting subliminal messages into his advertisements.  
Rod Brooks will not get caught raising funds in a Buddhist temple.  
Rod Brooks will not be crucified by David Letterman.  Rod Brooks will
conquer Canada once and for all.

Yes, as you can plainly see, Rod Brooks is your man for this year's
election.  Put down the Jack Daniels, run to the voting booth, and
vote often, very often, for our one and only Presidential hope.

Now, my friends, I can't make any promises, but if we're really lucky,
you might be able to meet the candidate himself if Rod Brooks graces
us with his presence at tonight's...

****************** G I R L  S C O U T  B E N E F I T ******************
******************        5:30pm  7AI Playroom       ******************

PS Barring an "October Surprise", this will be the last
election-themed GSB announcement this year.