From: jhbrown@ai.mit.edu (Jeremy H. Brown)
To: all-ai@ai.mit.edu
Subject: GSB: Tonight! 5:30pm, 7AI playroom
Date: 08 Dec 2000 14:54:05 -0500

The toaster whirled about sharply. Its slots flared as it tried to catch a scent; deep inside, tungsten filaments glowed an angry red, a flare that deepened in menace as, on the toaster's front plate, a lever moved inexorably from the "light" setting toward "dark". Unable to determine what had drawn its attention, the toaster relaxed, although its power-cord, as if independent of the toaster itself, continued to lash back and forth angrily.

Further up the counter, a loaf of bread lay perfectly still behind a sleeping ceramic cookie jar. A draft from a nearby window rustled the bread's plastic bag, and once again the toaster flared its slots and cast about. This time the bread was unlucky: the toaster wheeled again as the draft brought the bread's odor into its slots. Confident now that its prey was in range, the toaster began slowly but confidently moving upwind.

>From its position behind the cookie jar, the bread could not see the toaster, but it could sense, with every crumb in each slice and each slice in the bag, the heat radiating from the approaching toaster's slots. Individual slices jostled within the bag, but the plastic clip held and unity of purpose returned to the bread quickly. As the infighting subsided, however, the hum of electrified tungsten became clearly audible, and the bread peered cautiously around one edge of the cookie jar only to find itself pricetag-to-slot with the toaster.

The bread tried to dive back behind the cookie jar, but, before it could get entirely under cover, the toaster's power-cord whipped forward and knocked loose the plastic clip holding the bread-bag closed; unfettered, the bread's unity was instantly lost as individual slices scattered in all directions. On the recoil, however, the toaster's cord hooked the top of the cookie jar and sent it sliding over the countertop until it hung almost halfway off the countertop, a fragile ceramic disk suspended three feet above the cold, hard kitchen floor. Thus, even as the toaster reared up to its full height and prepared to pounce upon the fleeing slices one by one, the once-somnolent cookie jar awoke in a furious rage and gave forth a thunderous roar, firing an army of stale oatmeal cookies up into the air to rain down upon the toaster.

Across the countertop, the knife-block, lover to the cookie jar, heard the jar's cry and gave out an answering wail; as its blades leapt toward the toaster, the block itself began slouching toward the cookie jar's lid....

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Can a beseiged toaster fight off an army of kitchen knives and an aerial assault of stale cookies, all while catching the fleeing bread slices? Will the knife-block rescue the imperiled cookie jar lid? Can the bread pull itself together? Will the sink take sides in the escalating conflict? Has your humble writer of GSB announcements been ingesting unusual substances? Find out the answers at tonight's...

****************** G I R L S C O U T B E N E F I T ****************** ****************** 5:30pm 7AI Playroom ******************