From: jhbrown@ai.mit.edu (Jeremy H. Brown)
To: all-ai@ai.mit.edu
Subject: GSB: Tonight! 5:30pm, 7AI
Date: 13 Jul 2001 15:26:32 -0400

Well THAT didn't take long. This week Compaq announced that since their plans for shrinking the workforce via "attrition" hadn't worked out they'ed just straight-out lay off about 8500 people.

I've never really understood the principle behind "attrition." If your company is the usual mix of a handful of exceptional people, a lot of good people, and a handful of losers, who do you think is going to grab the early-exit package, confident in their ability to find a new job? Who do you think is going to hold onto their job like grim death?

I know this isn't a new observation, but what the hell are they thinking? Do they not *like* having exceptional people? Oh, wait, this is Compaq whose recent motto is "we'll send all the Alpha designers to Intel" -- I guess they really don't. (Nor, apparently did they want exceptional IP -- "we'll send all the Alpha patents to Intel, too.")

But if you weren't a company hell-bent on enslaving yourself to an Intel pipe-dream and flushing yourself down the drain, wouldn't you want to just have a "fire the losers" month? Why don't you ever hear about big companies doing that? I mean, this would really make me smile:

IBN announced today that they would be laying off 2500 deadwood employees; the announcment strongly urged compeititors not to hire the laid-off engineers because "you'll have to fire them a little later just like we did.' IBN management promised not to give false glowing recommendations to the fired employees, instead saying that "it's time these people got back to working at the Burger Barn where they belong."

But it'll never happen. But hey, I'd be happy even reading this one:

IBN announced today that it will reorganize about 2500 employees to form a new Project Deadwood. Plans call for spinning Project Deadwood out into an entirely independent company within 6 months, whereupon it will flounder and die by the end of the year.

Even so, I don't think I'll ever read that one either. Such a shame. Ah well. Instead, you should join me in mocking corporate stupidity and gloating about being a grad student during the "economic downturn" at tonight's...

****************** G I R L S C O U T B E N E F I T ****************** ****************** 5:30pm 7AI Playroom ******************