From liz@ai.mit.edu Fri Jul 16 09:21:41 1993 Return-Path: From: liz@ai.mit.edu (Liz A. Highleyman) Date: Thu, 15 Jul 93 15:03:41 EDT To: all-ai Subject: GSB: Friday at 5:30pm * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * UNIVERSITY HIERARCHY -------------------- THE DEAN leaps tall buildings in a single bound is more powerful than a locomotive is faster than a speeding bullet walks on water gives policy to god THE DEPARTMENT HEAD leaps short buildings in a single bound is more powerful than a switch engine is just as fast as a speeding bullet talks with god THE PROFESSOR leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds is almost as powerful as a switch engine is faster than a speeding BB walks on water in an indoor swimming pool talks with god if a special request is honored THE ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR barely clears a Quonset hut loses tug o' war with a locomotive can fire a speeding bullet swims well is occasionally addressed by god THE ASSISTANT PROFESSOR makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings is run over by locomotives can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury treads water talks to animals THE INSTRUCTOR climbs walls continually rides the rails plays Russian Roulette walks on thin ice prays a lot THE GRADUATE STUDENT runs into buildings recognizes locomotives two out of three times is not issued ammunition can stay afloat using a horsey innertube talks to walls THE UNDERGRADUATE falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings says, "look at the choo-choo" wets self with a water pistol plays in mud puddles mumbles to self THE DEPARTMENT SECRETARY lifts buildings and walks under them kicks locomotives off the tracks catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them freezes water with a single glance is god (appeared on a random mailing list without attribution of source) * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * G. S. B. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Girl Scout Benefit Friday, July 16th 5:30 PM Beer: $1.50 Root beer: $1.00 * * * * * * * * * * * (As your substitute announcement-poster, I am not privy to advanced information about this week's beer selection....)