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Instructions for how to escape a Stavalanche
- To: csail-related@
- Subject: Instructions for how to escape a Stavalanche
- From: Michael Oltmans <moltmans@>
- Date: Fri, 04 Feb 2005 16:44:07 -0500
- Cc:
Instructions for how to escape a Stavalanche (*):
Definition: Stavalanche (Stav·a·lanche)
(a) A large mass or body of snow and ice sliding swiftly down a
mountain side, falling down a precipice, or in this case breaking
through a large horizontal glass pane in the Stata Center.
(b) A large mass or body of email sliding into your Inbox from
csail-discuss, workstation-discuss or any other myriad of mailing lists
based in the Stata Center.
(a) While the commonly accepted techniques for escaping or rescuing
someone from such a natural disaster are complex and require extensive
technical training, we at GSB have developed several rough guidelines
for how to survive. First, be sure to always have a large quantity of
beer on your person at all times, while the bulk and weight may be great
safety must always take priority over comfort. Once trapped in an
Stavalanche begin consuming the beer at a very rapid pace. Very quickly
this large amount of non-hydrating liquid will need to escape your
bladder and you can follow its escape to safety. The warmth of the
excreted liquid will rapidly melt the snow and ice encasing your body
and will provide you a quick and easy escape.
(b) A similar maneuver can also be applied to the second form of a
Stavalanche. However, in this case, we respectfully request that the
evacuation of fluid portion of the maneuver only occur in an area
designated for such purposes. Your mind will have escaped to a less
cluttered and hazardous emailing environment where you can gleefully
delete the messages without care, worry, or thought.
Come discuss other ways of avoiding natural disasters in Stata and
beyond at tonights Worst Case Survival Guide edition of...
+- -+
girl scout benefit -+- 5:30 pm -+- 32-G9 lounge
+- -+
For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
<http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>
Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at
(*) http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1261997.html?menu
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Last updated: Fri Feb 22 19:38:53 2008