Instructions for how to escape a Stavalanche

[Michael Oltmans <moltmans@>]

Instructions for how to escape a Stavalanche (*):

Definition: Stavalanche (Stav·a·lanche)
  (a) A large mass or body of snow and ice sliding swiftly down a 
mountain side, falling down a precipice, or in this case breaking 
through a large horizontal glass pane in the Stata Center.
  (b) A large mass or body of email sliding into your Inbox from 
csail-discuss, workstation-discuss or any other myriad of mailing lists 
based in the Stata Center.
(a) While the commonly accepted techniques for escaping or rescuing 
someone from such a natural disaster are complex and require extensive 
technical training, we at GSB have developed several rough guidelines 
for how to survive.  First, be sure to always have a large quantity of 
beer on your person at all times, while the bulk and weight may be great 
safety must always take priority over comfort.  Once trapped in an 
Stavalanche begin consuming the beer at a very rapid pace.  Very quickly 
this large amount of non-hydrating liquid will need to escape your 
bladder and you can follow its escape to safety.  The warmth of the 
excreted liquid will rapidly melt the snow and ice encasing your body 
and will provide you a quick and easy escape.
(b) A similar maneuver can also be applied to the second form of a 
Stavalanche.  However, in this case, we respectfully request that the 
evacuation of fluid portion of the maneuver only occur in an area 
designated for such purposes.  Your mind will have escaped to a less 
cluttered and hazardous emailing environment where you can gleefully 
delete the messages without care, worry, or thought.
Come discuss other ways of avoiding natural disasters in Stata and 
beyond at tonights Worst Case Survival Guide edition of...
           +-                                                  -+
             girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
           +-                                                  -+

              For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
               <http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>
          Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
      floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at

(*) http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1261997.html?menu









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