Den Mother elections

[mmcgeach at csail.mit.edu (Michael McGeachie)]

In an effort to increase the representational transparency of the GSB ruling
oligarchy, called Den Mothers (this makes sense if you remember that we're
actually a Girl Scout Benefit), the GSB Den Mothers have decided to hold
elections this november for the next year's Den Mothers.  Current Den
Mothers are now soliciting volunteers from among the CSAIL community for
people who are willing to heed this great call and serve our proud community
by, in fact, serving this community beer on Fridays.  It is a grave and
somber mandate, crafted by the people, and presented to the beer stewards of
the lab, and requires volunteers of the most unassailable integrity and
unwavering commitment.  The future Den Mothers of GSB will have to act as
liaison from the girl scout community of CSAIL to the director and
co-director of CSAIL, reporting on all manner of issues relating to girl
scouts and/or beer drinking.  Future Den Mothers will inherit the seven
trillion dollar financial surplus GSB maintains, and will have
responsibility for using the surplus to weather the financial storms of the
years to come.  It has been said that the Den Mothers combine the epitome of
fiduciary responsibility, the wisdom of Alan Greenspan, the alcohol
tolerance of a Boston Red Sox fan, and the authoritarian leadership of Tony
Soprano, in leading this great organization.  

Interested parties should submit resumes and statements of purpose to Mike,
Mike, or Tracy.  Current GSB Den Mothers will then decide if an election is
warranted, and if so, the CSAIL community will receive numerous electronic
missives enjoining them to vote.  The voting process will be broken down by
lab-divisions of CSAIL.  If you do not know what division of CSAIL you
represent, simply compute the hash of your social security number using your
advisor's last name as the seed.  You will be informed of your secret
polling place by carrier-pigeon.  

Qualified Candidates will then participate in a series of lab-wide debates,
which will be web-casted live at www.elections.useless.gsb.csail.mit.edu.  A
Den Mothers Debate rules committee will be convened, through recursive
voting process.  The same process described here will be used to select the
Den Mothers Debate rules committee members.  Debate rules will be finalized
and published in a volume available at CopyTech in the student center for
11.95$.  

After the debates, the current GSB Den Mothers will then appoint next year's
Den Mothers through a combination of nepotism, personal bias, and bribe
strength.  As a first responsibility, the new and old GSB Den Mothers will
then challenge the EECS-GSA founding committee members to a game of
Dodgeball in the coveted Dodgeball Oligarchy of the Month Cup.

So come discuss your chances of representing your constituency of
beerdrinkers as a Future Den Mother of America at this week's...


            +-                                                  -+
              girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
            +-                                                  -+

               For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
                <http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>
           Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
       floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at