CSAIL Defense League (aka the Anti-Tourist Streakers)

["Michael McGeachie" <mmcgeach@>]

As CSAILians, we occupy a special place in history and in America.  That
place is the Stata Center.  It's become a symbol of our lab, our work, our
efforts, even our way of life.  But there are those that would invade our
sacred fortress and profane it with their vulgar ways!  Oh, it is true!
Nearly every day there are tourists* dressed in slacks and Hawaiian shirts
dangling cameras off their good-for-nothing necks, gawking and posing not
just on our threshold but within our borders!  Will we idly suffer this
intrusion?!  No, I say!  My fellow CSAILians, the time has come to defend
what's rightfully ours!

In a special session of the CSAIL Student Committee, late last night, I was
voted emergency war-time powers.  My first action is to authorize the
creation of the CSAIL Defense League, which is hereby called into action.
Each research group in CSAIL will be required to contribute one man and one
woman to the CSAIL Defense League.  These brave individuals will form the
first line of defense against the Tourists and their agenda, the CSAIL
Anti-Tourist Streakers.

Whenever the Tourism Alert Advisory is raised to yellow or higher
("elevated"), indicating an imminent tourist attack, the CSAIL Anti-Tourist
Streakers (C.A.T.S.) will respond.  The elite C.A.T.S. group will run naked
past or through each tour group, disrupting their foul freedom-hating
Tourist agenda.  Every time there is a family of tourists posing for
pictures to impress their friends, a member of our elite C.A.T.S. group will
appear naked, at the last moment, jumping into the picture.  I say to you,
if these Tourists think they want to see CSAILians at work, take pictures of
our environment, our homes, our lives, then we shall give them pictures!
Let them picture us in all our naked glory!  I say to you, if these tourists
want to gaze through the glass dividers of our open plan space at our
technical savvy, mechanical creativity, and unusual office furniture, then
we shall let them gaze!  Let their gaze be obstructed by a wall of naked
CSAIL Defense League citizens, standing arm in arm in defiance of their
profanity!  Let this call be heard, and let no tourist go unmolested!


All volunteers for the CSAIL Defense League are asked to report to this
evening's...


            +-                                                  -+
              girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
            +-                                                  -+

               For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
                <http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>
           Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
       floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at
                     <http://projects.csail.mit.edu/gsb>



*We pronounce "tourists" with the same diphthong used in "tour." It sounds
more sinister that way.


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