Tabloid GSB

["Harold Fox" <hfox@>]

In the tradition of great barstool debates, this week GSB asks: Who is the
bigger rock star: Britney Spears or Amy Winehouse? As we all know, to be a
great rock star requires stripping away all reason and inhibitions until one
is a seething tornado of raw feeling and naked subconsciousness. Getting to
this state takes a toll on rockers when they then try to cope with the petty
demands of mundane, daily life. As they lose touch with reality, their
on-stage emotional power turns to self-destruction. It is our own
fascination with them that is destroying them, but we cannot look away.
Think only of the musical giants of the past: Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin,
Sid Vicious, Ol Dirty Bastard.

But enough with the abstractions. To the issues: This week, Britney ran over
the foot of a papparazzi and Amy was arrested in Norway for marijuana
possession. Britney has been in and out of rehab all year. She shaved her
head in March, flashed a photographer in 2006, and earlier this month lost
custody of her children. According to extremely reliable sources on the
internet, she has dropped them several times, feeds them ice cream and soda,
and drives them around without a car seat. Amy Winehouse, on the other hand,
has appeared on television performances completely intoxicated. This August,
she went into a coma after she smoked heroin, snorted cocaine, took ecstasy
and ketamine, along with whisky and vodka during a bar crawl in London.

What about talent? Britney's songs are breathy, expertly produced, but not
particularly groundbreaking pop songs. Amy Winehouse sings in a neo-soul
style with modern rhythms and old-school bebop samples. Amy is a better
singer and her music is superior to Britney's, but she is English, and music
is better over there anyway. However, Britney Spears is an excellent dancer,
and she can act (or at least knows where the blinking red light is).

Some of you may feel that Amy Winehouse's manic depression is a truer
expression of the human spirit, and Britney is just a major-label puppet.
But aren't we all just puppets of what society wants us to be? I think we
can identify with the cheerleader-gone-bad, the perpetually adolescent drama
princess who will do anything for attention.

Continue the debate at this week's

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            girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
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