I'm glad that Deep Blue won. It's not just because Kasparov is a pompous ass and a sore loser. It's also not just because I'm a firm believer that alpha-beta search is the key to solving AI. It's really because it has given us (the elite) a way of identifying our own and separating them from the masses - a secret handshake of sorts. This will be especially important during the revolution, but more on that later.

The secret handshake is the question: "Are you feeling anxious because of Deep Blue's victory? Do you think that we are losing whatever it is that makes us human because of technological and scientific advances?"

Every century has its own version of this question. In the 17th century it was: "Does the earth revolve around the sun?" In the late 19th century it was: "Are we descended from apes?" (The correct answer for both was "yes", the incorrect answer for both was "burn, you heretic, burn".)

So you meet someone at a bar or a conference or GSB. You don't want to waste your time talking to them if they are not one of the elite. You ask them the question. If they break down and cry, sobbing about feeling so alone, just let them be. After the revolution they will be labeled as white meat. If they answer by talking about how much IBM's stock increased, you may continue to talk to them, but remember that after the revolution they will be labeled as dark meat. If they look at you as if you asked them whether the sun revolves around the earth then you have found your mate.

Come partition the world into equivalence classes during this week's

  G   I   R   L     S   C   O   U   T     B   E   N   E   F   I   T

7th floor playroom May 16, 1997 5:30 pm