For those of you who haven't been watching Oprah lately, Bible Code fever is sweeping the nation. What is a Bible Code? It's a secret message inserted ingeniously into the Bible. The messages can be decoded by ignoring spaces and reading off every k-th letter (or by purchasing Lucky Moses cereal, thereby obtaining the special decoder ring). These messages contain information about the dates of birth of famous Rabbis, born after the Bible was written. The Bible also encodes messages about the assassinations of both Kennedys, Watergate, and the assassination of Rabin.

But what does it say about me, you ask? Here are a few lab-related passages decoded from the book of Genesis:

"Hello? Hello? Is anyone out there? Please help me. I'm stuck under the floor in the ninth floor machine room. For the love of God please help!"

"I have a proof that P=NP, but I'm running out of stories with which to encode the proof. I'm looking forward to my duel with Satan tomorrow morning."

"Is anyone reading this? I bet you're not reading this. If you are reading it - the treasure is buried underneath a big W. But I bet nobody gets this."

"Attention people of 545 Tech Square. Stop working so hard and come enjoy yourself at GSB."

Well, will you disobey the Biblical prophecy and rot in your office, or will you come to this week's

  G    I   R    L      S   C   O   U   T     B   E   N   E   F   I   T

7th floor playroom June 27, 1997 5:30 pm