The following incidents were reported to the MIT Campus Police between March 20 and March 27. This summary contains most incidents reported to Campus Police but does not include incidents such as: medical shuttles, ambulance transfers, false alarms, general service calls, etc. In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crimes, and the district attorney, who prosecutes the offenders. These are their stories.

Mar 20: Graduate students, faculty, and staff caught enjoying themselves at GSB. Police break it up with the stern warning: "Don't you have work to do?"

Mar 21: Trapped faculty candidate released from fifth floor conference room. Police have to subdue some faculty members who "want to ask just one more question."

Mar 22: Mmmmm - donuts.

Mar 23: After a succesful write-in campaign, "Fast, Cheap and Out of Control" wins an Oscar in the Documentary Feature category. Thousands of joyful students party in the streets, overturning cars, burning class bibles, and looting.

Mar 24: Burst pages left on printer. Offenders taken out back and shot. DA chooses not to prosecute, accepting a temporary insanity plea.

Mar 25: Student claims to have thesis receipt stolen. Told he has to start over.

Mar 26: Reported theft of board games from seventh floor playroom. Report later withdrawn; no more playing allowed in the playroom.

Mar 27: Squatters kicked out of empty offices on eighth floor. Some later returned when they prove to be graduate students. Squatters appeared to have created their own culture: reinventing the wheel, discovering fire, painting detailed frescos on the ceiling, hacking in a strange Lisp variant, etc. Estimated damage from frescos to be recouped from this week's

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7th floor playroom March 20, 1998 5:30pm