"Excuse me, Mr. Gates. I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

"No, no. Come in. I was just trying to figure out what witty line to say right before the revolution comes. You know, Marie Antoinette said 'let them eat cake', and George Wallace had 'segregation now, segregation forever'. I need something tragicomic for history to remember me by."

"How about 'What's good for Microsoft is good for America'?"

"Hmm, I was thinking more along the lines of 'Near, far, wherever you are, I believe you'll be using my products.' Well, whatever. What good news does my favorite accountant bring me?"

"I'm not sure if it's good news. Remember how we offered the MIT AI lab free software in exchange for their souls?"

"Yes, that was a sweet deal, wasn't it?"

"As it turns out, they've ordered 2541 copies of our Flight Simulator, and 2 Win95 manuals. The manuals are apparently being used as monitor stands."

"Those fools! They mock me! I thought they were going to use Microsoft Office Suite to increase their productivity, but instead they think the only worthwhile thing we produce is flight simulators! They are about to incur the wrath of Gates! Fetch me my checkbook!"

"Sir, last time you acted in anger, we ended up with Apple."

"Get out of my way you overpaid bean muncher! I'll buy that lab if it's the last thing I do!"

Microsoft stock for everyone at this week's

  G   I   R   L      S   C   O   U   T     B   E   N   E   F   I   T

7th floor playroom April 10, 1998 5:30pm