Zero gravity tourism!  New, from K-Tel!

Yes, after abandoning Mir in 1999, the Russians have returned in 2000
to turn the aging space station into an exciting new tourist
destination!  For a mere $10,000 a night (plus millions in travelling
expenses,) *you* could be one of the few, the proud, the first space
tourists!

All it takes is iron determination, nerves of steel, and the ability
to get into your emergency space-suit in under 25 seconds.  Oh yes,
and gobs of disposable cash.  Rocket scientists ain't cheap, you know.

Just think of the possibilities!  The glamour of meals squeezed fresh
from a tube.  The excitement of emergency hull repair.  The
spectacular vistas seen out the 8" porthole.  The novel experience of
catheter-based bathroom facilities.

But that's not all!  We have a variety of exciting zero-G activities
just waiting for *you*!

- Try out the excitement of 3D billards -- when there's no gravity,
  who needs a table?  For extra excitement, play in the thruster
  control room -- why move the balls when you could move the station
  around them?

- Join in spontaneous games of "spot the air leak," and after you've
  won, relax with a round of "patch the hole with toothpaste and old
  shoe leather."

- Bring your lover and discover the sensual joys of zero G!  Just
  remember: for every action, there is an equal and opposite
  reaction!  Bungee-cords and velcro will be available at the checkin
  module; safety helmets will be required.

- Our weight training facilities will help you keep in shape; use them
  daily, and you just might be able to walk when you get back to Earth!

- Play "bobbing for Iridium"!  We'll send Mir tumbling near an Iridium
  satelite -- see if you can catch it before it burns up in the
  atmosphere!

Yes, the glory of space tourism is almost here!  Sign up now for a
chance at being one of the first space tourists ever!  Remember,
Russian rockets almost never explode on liftoff!  So sign up today!

Cheapskates and cowards need not apply, and may wish to try an
alternate activity such as tonight's...

****************** G I R L  S C O U T  B E N E F I T ******************
******************        5:30pm  7AI Playroom       ******************

PS This may be your only chance to see me clean-shaven.  (No joke!)