From: "Jeremy H. Brown"
To: all-ai@ai.mit.edu
Subject: GSB: tonight! 5:30pm, 7AI playroom
Date: Fri, 2 Jun 2000 15:24:51 -0400 (EDT)

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! I hereby declare this day in the AI lab to be a day of celebration; of mourning; and of conspiracy.

Indeed, today let us celebrate all those AI students who have just graduated. Sunburnt and dehydrated from their morning hours in the sun, these stalwart few have concluded their time in the Ivory Tower of NE43. Green with envy, those of us who remain behind can only raise a toast to those who, on this day, have slipped the surly bonds of grad school. Congratulations to you all! Your refreshments at tonight's GSB are on the house.

But in addition to celebration, today let us mourn the impending departure of our friends, these newly minted graduates. They go now to the halls of professorships, post-docs, chief technical officerships, and other lofty positions from which graduate students, far below, seem as numerous, as busy, as brainless, and as interchangeable as ants -- ants that send innumerable resume's, that is.

In a more selfish vein, today let those of us who remain behind also mourn that far too few people are graduating to make room for incoming students in the fall. Let us mourn the filing cabinets evicted, the big desks replaced with small ones, the three- person offices filled with five, the HVAC units overwhelmed, the bathrooms ever-busy.

And today let us conspire against those spies from LCS who, faced with their own office-space crunch, have been scouting out AI lab offices for possible annexation. Let us demonstrate the full-to-overflowingness of our offices. Let us redirect attention to the empty-yet-claimed offices of those who have gone to startups. Let us compare the percentile growth of each of the labs. Let us prepare to repel all boarders by any means necessary!

Indeed, today let us work out the details of our conspiracy at tonight's...

****************** G I R L S C O U T B E N E F I T ****************** ****************** 5:30pm 7AI Playroom ******************