FROM:       UNITED NATIONS HUMAN RIGHTS MONITORING SERVICE
 TO:         UNITED NATIONS CAMBRIDGE MASSACHUSETTS EMERGENCY RESCUE PERSONNEL
 ENCLOSURE:  TRANSCRIPT OF MESSAGE TO MIT BUILDING NE43 IN RESPONSE
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[STATIC] DON'T BOTHER COMING OUT. SITUATION FUBAR. COG SAFE. LANDED ROSE
GARDEN
 
[STATIC] GEORGE W. BUSH DECLARED WINNER, IN CONFUSION  STROM THURMOND
SEIZES POWER

[STATIC] MASSACHUSETTS VOTED OUT OF UNION BY TEXAS CAUCUS.

[STATIC] GERMANY OFFERS TWICE DAILY AIRDROPS TO NE43 ROOFTOP
 
[STATIC] REPUBLIC OF CHAD DECLARES WAR ON JAMES BAKER, MARK RACICOT.

[STATIC] MASS HYSTERIA, DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER, OPRAH HUNGER STRIKE
 
[STATIC] STAY WHERE YOU ARE. YOU'RE SAFE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO
RHENQUIST
 
[TRANSCRIPT ENDS]