From: cgdemarc@ai.mit.edu (Carl de Marcken)
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 95 14:51:17 EST
To: all-ai
Subject: GSB, Friday March 17, 5:30 PM.


Several students, whose name's will be kept private, have asked me if there
will be a girl scount benefit today.  Yes, there will be.  I understand
your worries, but Mike B. has calmed down over the last hour and Jose R. is
taking a nap.

For those of you who don't know, late last night Mike's Sparc 10
disappeared from his office- whomever stole it left a note saying "it was
in international waters", and therefore subject to arbitrary seizure.  Soon
thereafter, five open cans of salmon entrails (salmon was, coincidentally?,
the main ingredient of Mike B.'s Canadian GSL today) found their way onto
the plates of the radiator in Jose's office, and he got an anonymous e-mail
message saying "Want fish, you European earth-raper?  Then have it!"  As
you all know by now, Jose kicked a soccer ball at Misha at GSL.  I spoke
to Mike a few minutes ago and managed to talk him out of slapshots during
the AI tea, I think.

These sorts of situations get out of control quickly.  BBC announced that
Heineken has voluntarily ceased exports to Ottawa and that twenty-six
McGill students are starting now in two-man canoes to intercept the Spanish
warship due to arrive off the coast of Newfoundland sometime "soon".  What
can we do to ease international tensions at this week's Girl Scout Benefit?

I think that if every Spaniard and every Canadian in the lab can find
something positive to say about the country, it would be a good start.
Things like

	"If it weren't for that inquisition, trial lawyers might not
	 exist at all"

		and

	"I suppose Canada serves as a necessary buffer between
	 polar bears and intelligent life."

Then, we can calmly and complacently drink neutral beers, like
Conquistadores Black and Flaming Yukon and Turbot.

Don't miss your chance to be the next Jimmy Carter!  Come to this week's

               G I R L   S C O U T   B E N E F I T

and feel the fish.  (GSB may move to 8ai if the newly-painted 7th floor
playroom is unconducive to global tranquility.)