From: agavin@ai.mit.edu Thu Oct 29 13:09:11 1992
From:: agavin@ai.mit.edu (Andrew Gavin)
Date: Thu, 29 Oct 92 13:07:47 EST
To: grg
Subject: [god@heaven.org: Party Invitation.]

Return-Path: 
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 12:51:53 EST

From:: Himself 

To: Secular Humanists 

Subject: Party Invitation.

Hello, there's been some confusion, and I just wanted to clear some
things up.  As many of you know, it has been predicted that the
Rapture will occur tonight.  For those of you who do not know, the
Rapture is when all righteous Christians ascend bodily to heaven in
preparation for Armageddon, leaving the rest of you poor schmucks
behind on Earth to watch the festivities.  Since I've been getting a
lot of questions about this rapture thing, I thought that I'd just
tell you all directly.  So here it is, the Rapture FAQ sheet:

	     Frequently Asked Questions about the Rapture

Q1: Is it really happening tonight?
A:  Yes, it is.  I suggest that you all get yourselves some lawn
    chairs, open a couple of brewskis and watch the show.

Q2: Will I get to go?
A:  No, you are all members of the cultural elit.

Q3: Is Armageddon really going to happen?
A:  Sure.  Why else did you think I had you build all those bombs?

Q4: When?
A:  As soon as Clinton gets elected.



Thank you for your kind support of my grand design for the cosmos.

Yours,

God


From: grg-webvisible@ai.mit.edu Thu Oct 29 16:12:09 1992

Date: Thu, 29 Oct 92 16:08:43 EST

To: gsl

From:: Master Chefs 

Subject: Party Invitation.

Hello, there's been some confusion, and I just wanted to clear some
things up.  As many of you know, it has been predicted that the
Mastication will occur Friday at 12:30.  For those of you who do not
know, the Mastication is when all ravenous graduate students ascend
bodily to the eighth floor playroom in preparation for GSL, leaving
the rest of you poor schmucks behind to hike to the lunch trucks.
Since I've been getting a lot of questions about this masticatory
thing, I thought that I'd just tell you all directly.  So here it is,
the Mastication FAQ sheet:

	     Frequently Asked Questions about the Mastication

Q1: Is it really happening Friday at 12:30?
A:  Yes, it is.  I suggest that you all get yourselves some lawn
    chairs, open a couple of brewskis and start lining up now.

Q2: Will I get any food?
A:  Probably not, you are all members of the "slightly late."  If ya
    snooze, ya lose.

Q3: Is GSL really going to happen?
A:  Sure.  Why else did you think I had you fill out all those grant
    forms for the AI Lab's general fund?

Q4: When?
A:  If you keep asking the same stupid questions over and over again,
    when am I going to get the chance to tell you that it'll be a
    completely homecooked meal with fantastic desserts far too fine
    for the likes of you graduate students?


Thank you for your kind support of my grand design for thesis avoidance.

Yours,

G.O.D.   (The Grand Overseers of Dinner,  Carl de Marcken & Greg Galperin)

From: mmp@ai.mit.edu Fri Oct 30 12:29:46 1992

From:: mmp@ai.mit.edu (Marina Meila)

Date: Fri, 30 Oct 92 12:28:47 EST

To: grg, cgdemark

Subject: God reply




	Hey, you guys over there, vainly trying in your all-nihility
to mimic the magnificence of My Creation: I've been watching you
perspire for a whole week, tampering around with all that mundane
stuff in full forgetfulness of a single proper prayer. 
	
	But finally, for the poor mortals you are, you haven't done
such a bad job. I am considering appointing you up here, around Me,
'cause things got really mingled in the Celestial Cookhouse since the
ovens have been moved down to Hell. Two dilligent, husky guys, willing
to jump in flame and water if necessary are needed to fix everything,
thereby reinforcing the jeopardized heavenly peace.

	The good news: no PhD required for these positions.


   Benedictions,

    God

    (Gluttonous On-looking Divinities)