[Previous][Next] [Index]

The Terminator Robot exhibit

GSB Presents:

A Modest Proposal for the Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company

The lab needs to put something in this giant, empty, entryway.  Something
that symbolizes CSAIL and our various contributions to modern culture.
Something that says "We're nerds, fear our mighty roar."  Something to scare
away the archi-tourists.  Something like, a 25-foot replica of the
Terminator man-killing robot.

The Terminator Robot exhibit has many benefits.  Everyone will recognize it.
Everyone knows that we build robots.  We could easily claim responsibility
for the Terminator Robot.  I know we've all had people ask us "You work in
the AI lab?  Do you make robots?"  And oh, how we've longed to respond,
"Yes, yes I do.  The kind that kill people."

I suggest having a few sample quotes on plaques next to the Terminator:

"The Terminator's unique subsumption architecture allows higher-level
circuits to take advantage of lower-level circuit's functionality.  For
example, the Flip-Out-And-Kill-People circuit can take advantage of the
Dynamic-Real-Time-Targeting circuit, the
Rational-Weapons-And-Munitions-Selection circuit, and the
Electronic-Warfare-And-Cryptography circuit, combining these behaviors in
new and deadly patterns."  - Rod Brooks

"Our medical imaging systems were originally designed to help doctors save
lives, but after talking with some creative folks at DARPA and Hollywood, we
realized this could easily be repurposed to allow the Terminator to more
efficiently kill people." - Eric Grimson

"For some reason, all digitally synthesized voices end up sounding like they
speak English with an Austrian accent.  We tried to fix it for the longest
time, but then just decided it sounded cool, and sinister." - Victor Zue

Perhaps the Terminator Robot could be crushing a "Shakey" robot under its
foot.  Or maybe riddling Shakey's vulnerable exterior with holes from a 60
caliber machinegun.  In a robotic voice, the Terminator can periodically say
"Stanford has been terminated."

Come discuss this and other modest proposals for the unused spaces in the
Stata Center at this week's 4th Stata Centered...

            +-                                                  -+
              girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
            +-                                                  -+

               For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
           Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
       floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at

*** Results of last week's GSB Monty Haul problem:

The free beverage for solving the problem correctly and explaining the
solution goes to Professor Ron Rivest!  Come by any GSB to claim your prize!
Better luck next time to all of you out there without Turing Awards.  WORK
HARDER!  Honorable mention goes to: Gremio, Metin Sezgin, Alan Donovan,
Naha, Scott Ananian, Barun Singh, and Karen Sachs!

[Previous][Next] [Index]
Small GSB Logo Small GSB Logo Brought to you by the few, the proud, the owners of the closest shorn yaks, the den-mothers at csail

Last updated: Fri Feb 22 19:38:53 2008