GSB can protect you from identity theft

[Michael Oltmans <moltmans@>]

In light of recent events with leakages of sensitive personal data from 
major data warehouses, we at GSB have decided to protect you.  In order 
to protect you from having your identity stolen we will need some 
information to identify if you are at risk.  Please send me a file with 
your legal name, social security number, all credit card numbers, phone 
number, birth date, mother's maiden name, father's maiden name, names of 
your children, what time you wake up in the morning, whether or not you 
are a religious extremist, the last 100 books you got from a library or 
bought, the porn sites you frequent most often, and a list of user name 
and passwords that you use for all your online bank accounts and 
websites.  It would also be useful if you could send copies of your web 
certificates and your kerberos principals as well.

With this info we can identify if you are at risk of having your 
identity stolen and we can take appropriate action.  As part of your 
personalized risk assessment we may need to open between one and ten 
credit cards in your name and transfer your funds into numbered Swiss 
accounts--for your security.

As a bonus, we have a sure fire way of doubling your savings through a 
sure fire investment scheme coordinated by the former, in exile, finance 
minister of Nigeria.  He can be trusted and your identity will be safe 
and richer.

Help us combat identity fraud with the vigilante support of America's 
finest young women in uniform, the Girl Scouts, at tonight's:

           +-                                                  -+
             girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge
           +-                                                  -+

              For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is
               <http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>
          Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th
      floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at











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