There iS'no emergency in Somerville

[Mike Oltmans <moltmans@>]

Because there is'no emergency in Somerville GSB will be merged with the 
Olympic Closing ceremonies today. 
(http://4ad.ai.mit.edu/olympics/events.jsp showing of classic TV spots 
and videos from Olympics past and present.)

And now more info on why there is'no emergency in Somerville.  As a 
result of this'no emergency being declared all even numbered cars in 
front of odd numbered houses will be ticketed or towed at the whim of 
Mayor Joseph A. Curtatone (aka Mayor there's Jo'snow And WereATowin). 
To determine if your car is an even numbered car you should refer to our 
 private internal policy documents.  They will be available for 
browsing 4 hours after your car has been ticketed and 2 hours after you 
car has been towed to Pat's.  Browsing right can be purchased from Pat 
for a nominal $300 fee (cash only please).

I repeat there is'no emergency in Somerville.  There is no need to take 
cover or use your bomb shelters.  For your safety during this'no 
emergency your car will be towed to a safe holding ground.

In a statement issued by Mayor Jo'sno A. WereATowin:

"Curtatone said he would continue the city policy of declaring a snow 
emergency at the prediction of 4 or more inches, giving residents four 
hours to remove their vehicles.

But he seems less than confident looking back at the storm that never 
came. "I don't think I've ever prayed for snow so much in my life," he 
said." <http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/01292004_bb_snow.html>

Discuss this'no emergency in Somerville and raise your glasses to the 
idiot that we elected and be thankful that he tore up all the tickets 
(if you paid yours you can get your $$$ back by the way): 
<http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2004/01/30/somerville_retracts_its_no_snow_tow/>

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