GSB Liability Waiver

["Jacob Eisenstein" <jacobe@>]

GSB LIABILITY WAIVER

NOTICE:  PLEASE READ THIS CONTRACT CAREFULLY.  BY DRINKING, GUZZLING,
QUAFFING, SIPPING, IMBIBING, TASTING, SMELLING, OR LOOKING CLOSELY AT
ALL OR ANY PORTION OF A GSB BEVERAGE ("BEER") YOU ACCEPT ALL THE TERMS
AND CONDITIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT.  IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, DO NOT DRINK
THIS "BEER."

1. DEFINITIONS

A. "GSB" means the Venerable Association of GIRL SCOUT BENEFACTORS,
and NOT Gehry's Stata Building.

B. "Beer" means a frosty, refreshing beverage.  "Beer" shall not be
assumed to connote alcoholic content; e.g., "root beer," "birch beer,"
or "club-soda-mixed-with-goat-urine-and-roofies-beer."  GSB disclaims
all liability in connection with the amount, purity, and provenance of
alcohol or goat urine in the "beer."

2. LIABILITY

A. "GSB" will be held harmless in the event of leaky or moldy "beer."

B. "GSB" assumes no liability for huge chunks of deadly frozen ice
falling off of your "beer."

C. "GSB" is not responsible if your "beer" reflects a concentrated
beam of blinding, scorching light into neighboring buildings.
(http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4541963)

D. "GSB" will be totally blameless -- though hardly surprised -- if
your "beer" spontaneously transforms into a vicious, baby-eating
robot, with deadly laser-beam eyes and radioactive venom.

E. Under no circumstances will "GSB" or any other "GSB" affiliate be
liable to you, your adviser, your funding source, or any other person
or entity for any loss of productivity, research results,
publications, grades, academic standing, marriage or family
well-being; or for mental or physical trauma; or for any other
commercial, economic, personal, political, psychological, or
metaphysical damages suffered.

The undersigned is aware of the risks of attending, traveling to and
participating in "GSB", and hereby assumes all risks.  The risks
include those foreseen and unforeseen, known and unknown.  This
release is binding on my heirs, advisers, urops, and administrators.

Signature ___________________

Date ___________

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