Oscars GSB (Event cancelled due to snow)

["Harold Fox" <hfox@>]

This Sunday is the Oscars! Like your 9th grade English teacher, a shadowy
panel of 80-year-old men will feed you a new set of grandiose films for you
to feel guilty about not watching. A few bits of information will be
stretched into four hours, but you will tune in nonetheless, because you
secretly fantasize that some of that glamor will rub off on you.

To get you excited, GSB has convened its own elite panel to decide the CSAIL
Oscars. We've selected the best performances from CSAIL TV, the newest
brainchild from TiG that removes the social awkwardness of avoiding eye
contact and conversation while you wait for the elevator.

Herewith, the winners:

Best Actor
The left robot in the humanoid robotics competition. Like Daniel Day-Lewis
in "There Will be Blood," this sympathetic villain isn't afraid to kick its
competitor when it's down. Its greed for land and power on the contest table
knows no bounds as it destroys its relationships with the rest of robotity.

Best Actress
Xin Hu singing with Bryt Bradley. Her mouth is moving but the rest of her
face is not. Like Marion Cotillard in "Ma Vie en Rose," her eyes show the
pain and anxiety that belie the cheerful song she sings.

Best Writing
The COPE Project: A mother wants to monitor her baby and her husband wants
to watch his Chinese soap opera on the same wireless network. But they are
frustrated, because their packets are dropped amid the contention and
congestion. But thanks to Dina Katabi's compression and scheduling
algorithms, the family is saved from certain divorce. Like "Juno", it's a
compassionate look at the pressures of the modern American family with an
honestly earned happy ending.

Best Direction
The SMART System: Patients awaiting medical attention are wired with sensors
and monitored for adverse events. In one scene, a young woman at a "disaster
scene" patiently sits on a bench while a young man hooks her up to
electrodes and leads her to a vehicle off screen. Creative camera angles and
the lack of any apparent emergency lead us to imagine that much more is
going on here than the dry narrative suggests.

Best Picture
Pinocchio: A motley crew of 3D characters including an eskimo, a pirate, and
an armored  knight perform calisthenic exercises in unison. A compelling
tale of humor, action, and adventure that we couldn't take our eyes off of.


No GSB today, due to the snow.

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