XXIX Olympiad

["Harr Chen" <harr@>]

Today, the Games of the XXIX Olympiad begin with much fanfare in Beijing,
China. However, I am of the staunch belief that these Olympics Games do not
hold a torch (pun intended) to our own lab Olympics. As such, here is a
comparative point-by-point review of Beijing 2008 to Cereal Killers 2008.

 

== Participants ==

BEIJING: 204 National Olympic Committees, 11,028 athletes

CEREAL: 4 teams, about 80 "athletes"

 

Our athletes may not be the most muscular or most agile, but they are much
less likely to use performance-enhancing drugs. Well, at least not for the
Olympics themselves - I can't promise anything about that week before a
paper deadline...

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Events ==

BEIJING: 302 over 28 sports

CEREAL: About 18

 

They have more events, but we have to make movies. Making movies is
infinitely harder than the pole vault or the javelin throw. Besides, most of
our Olympics attendees compete in most or even all of the events, whereas
the Beijing Olympics' lazy athletes only participate in one sport.

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Logos and Mascots ==

BEIJING: The five Fuwa, designed by renowned Chinese artist Han Meilin

CEREAL: The four cereal mascots, designed by our own renowned satirist Ali
Mohammad

 

You see, Mr. Han has actually DISOWNED his Fuwa creation, whereas Mr.
Mohammad still proudly sports his Olympics t-shirts in lab on a regular
basis.

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Opening Ceremony ==

BEIJING: President Hu Jintao of China, expensive pyrotechnics, song and
dance

CEREAL: Professor Randall Davis of MIT CSAIL, free pizza & t-shirts

 

If Randy Davis and Hu Jintao ever had an epic psychic battle using their
respective sketch/gesture systems, I'm pretty sure Prof. Davis would kick
Hu's ass. Plus, we had free pizza. Nyah nyah.

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Celebrities ==

BEIJING: Yao Ming

CEREAL: David Karger

 

In an ISRAELI FOLK DANCE-OFF, you know who would come out on top.

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Prizes ==

BEIJING: Medals and eternal glory, or at least until the next Olympics

CEREAL: Amazon gift certificates and Quizno's coupons

 

In today's tough economy, Amazon gift certificates are what you need to buy
books that you can construct a fort out of, after being foreclosed out of
your house. What are you going to do with a freaking medal? At best, sell
them for scrap metal to ... buy books from Amazon to build a fort.

 

WINNER: CEREAL

 

== Final Scoring ==

CEREAL: 6 (gold medal)

BEIJING: 0 (plus disqualification for web censorship)

 

              +-                                                  -+

                girl scout benefit -+-  5:30 pm  -+- 32-G9 lounge

              +-                                                  -+

 

                 For those coming from elsewhere: Building 32 is

                  <http://whereis.mit.edu/map-jpg?selection=32>

             Once you are in 32, just take the G-elevator to the 9th

         floor and we will be in the lounge that you will be looking at

                       <http://projects.csail.mit.edu/gsb>

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